Or: J.P. Dellacamera and Darren Eliot are essentially ignorant fans with microphones.

The Atlanta Thrashers’ announcers offered an epically bad performance last night, so much so that I felt it necessarily to devote an entire post to it. Among their foibles:

• Explaining that one condition of Alex Ovechkin’s new contract was that he made more per year than Sidney Crosby. While this might be true, I’ve not heard that from even one single source that would have any knowledge about whether or not that was true.
• Referring to the Capitals coaching change as having occurred on “November 22nd, on Thanksgiving, or thereabouts.” Yes, November 22, 2007 was Thanksgiving Day in the United States. While I wouldn’t necessarily expect them to know that, you’d think that analysts would know if a major firing occurred in a sport they covered on a holiday. I mean, if an NFL coach were fired on Christmas Eve, wouldn’t you think John Madden would know about it?
• Stating that in the second period while the Thrashers were not doing all that well it wasn’t like they were being “beaten [up] or anything”. At that point shots were 13-3, Washington.
• Nearly wetting themselves (in excitement) over Garnet Excelby’s hit on Matt Pettinger. Yes, it is quite impressive to knock someone over by hitting them in the back. Clearly Excelby is a big, scary defender! <sarcasm:off>
• Referring to Tobias Enstrom as using “a very long stick for someone who’s 5′10”.” When did teams start measuring player’s heights with their skates on?
• Intimating that Don Waddell is a good coach or that Bobby Holik is a good captain.
• Nearly wetting themselves(in anger) when Alexei Zhitnik was called for boarding Alexander Semin. I agree boarding was a bad call, but Zhitnik had his forearm around Semin’s neck. I dunno what you’d call that, but I’m pretty sure it’s a penalty.
• The statement “Be proud of your Thrashers!” after Hossa’s empty net goal.  Be proud?  Really?  “Yay, we were outshot three-to-one, proved how pathetic we are with Ilya Kovalchuk and only won because the Capitals couldn’t finish and Kari Lehtonen played out of his skull!”  Thrashers fans might have relatively modest expectations, but they ain’t that low.